When Your Reaction Surprises Even You!

I was exceptionally happy yesterday.
No particular reason why... I was just happy.

Maybe it was because the sun was shining.  Maybe it was because I had the satisfying accomplishment of crossing items off my to-do list in a very orderly fashion (I am, after all THAT woman!).  But whatever it was - I found myself in a state of glee most all of the afternoon.

And I remember reading the words... SAYING the words... We must fight for joy.  Every day is a fight for joy.  And I must choose the way of joy in an ugly world.

But this day seemed different somehow.  Joy was pouring in as sunlight through the clouds.  It didn't take much effort.

And in the way it sometimes happens, the robber of life slithers in to take away the joy.  He comes to threaten my happiness with the stark realization that the world can be ugly and the people that live in it can be equally distorted.  Because there is a truth that we live with this side of eternity and although Jesus comes to give life... full life... "the thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy."

The other driver didn't think she was in the wrong.  In a car filled with friends, and consumed with entitlement that convinced her that she had the right of way, I was her punching bag that afternoon.

And maybe she hadn't been able to find her own joy that day.  Perhaps the sun had missed her that afternoon.  Either way, I was a recipient of hate and I could feel the darkness begin to envelope me as I drove away.

And in that moment, I had a choice.
My choice was this... Do I let darkness win?  Do I surrender to a life of bitterness and resentment or do I fight to keep my joy instead?  Because every day is a battle between good and evil and by allowing this stranger to steal my happiness, I was allowing the darkness to win.

But I could choose to forgive and press forward.

Because wasn't it Jesus who went to the cross.... not as a criminal deserving of punishment, but as an innocent man of God who came to bring hope and grace to the very people who would later betray and beat Him to death?

And as Jesus hangs on the cross, we hear Him - almost unbelievably say - "Father, forgive them..."  {Luke 23:34}

And I want that kind of forgiveness.  I want that kind of grace.

Hanging in my office is a cross designed with nails that reads Amazing Grace.  And I am reminded once again of the countless ways that I have been shown grace and mercy.  I am reminded of the enormous gift of forgiveness that I have been offered and I am humbled.

And so with a reaction that surprised even myself, I made a choice that afternoon to fight for joy.  In a defining moment and with God's graciousness and strength, I chose the way of forgiveness.  And with my 13-year-old's watchful eyes (always the watchful eyes), I made the decision to extend grace not because it was easy, but because it's the only way we change the world.

I read it in our study for this week...

"We turn the other cheek because Jesus prayed from the cross, 'Father, forgive them.'  And the forgiven THEM turns out to be us.  Jesus only calls us to give what we have received - unbounded forgiveness."  {Brian Zahnd, Unconditional}

And not just for the big things.  But also for the small ways that threaten to rob us from the full life Christ died for us to have.  For the drivers filled with anger and rage who aren't fortunate yet to know what I know about God's love.  And by rejecting my "right" to retaliate, perhaps I am displaying Jesus in a new light to those who are living desperate without Him.

And hadn't I read that backwards?

Indeed I had...

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."  {John 10:10}  {emphasis mine} 

I want the full life.  And in my desire is the understanding that there is price to pay for it.  And it's hard work.  But I am willing to do the hard work if it means returning to joy and bringing Jesus to an ugly world by BEING Jesus to the world.

I choose life!

Finding JOY in the JOurneY,