Where Is Jesus?

I suppose we all have those days. Days that are filled with sticky messes. Days that overwhelm us. Days that distract us from our relationship with Jesus Christ.

Our intentions are good. And on this day I had wanted to be a good Christian girl. I wanted to get it right. But some days we are simply overtaken by worry and doubt and greed and selfishness. Some days, even by 10 a.m., we're ready to quit.

And we ask ourselves... “Where is Jesus?”

Like, really, “Where is He?”

Because it's Wednesday and all hell has already broken loose in my life. The dishwasher isn't working, the lawn mower is in need of {another} $800 repair and our grass is in serious need of attention!, the garbage disposal smells funny, the electric bill will be late because, well, we've been behind now for months and we just can't seem to get ahead, the tuition bill is looming in the inbox where it has resided for 2 months now – and it's glaring at me with an intense fire.

And I just want to cry.

And I ask again, “Where is Jesus?”

In this maddening world consumed by debt and cancer and bombs and all things out of control, I feel my life begin to spiral.

And I wonder, “Where is Jesus?”

I can't seem to find Him. And I know He's here somewhere.

Because I've read it... probably a thousand times my eyes have scrolled the pages with this promise, “... I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” {Matthew 28:20} NLT

And on this day... a Wednesday... I have to make a phone call I don't want to make. I have to forgive that person I have no desire to show mercy to. The ungrateful child is making excuses again. That person has pulled out in front of me in traffic.

And I am weary.

Where is Jesus in this mess?

And could it be that He never really left?

Because I read it in scripture once again, “When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.” {Isaiah 43:2) NLT

And maybe I had just forgotten. He is here. In the deep waters, through the rivers, through the fire.

He is here.

Right here.

And He never leaves.

And maybe these struggles are teaching me something. Because peace can be found in the deep waters and the rivers and the fire.

Just think about that.

Have you ever been out on a boat in the middle of the lake? Out there where it's deep and the dark blue envelope you with it's strength? There is a peace that can be be found there in the deep waters.

What about the river? Have you even canoed down a winding river with all it's twists and turns and felt the whisper of the wind sweep your face? There is a peace that can be found there on the river.

Consider the fire. Have you ever spent a summer evening sitting fireside with dear friends finding yourself mesmerized by the swirling flames of brilliant orange and yellow? There is a peace that can be found in the fire.

And when it comes right down to it, it is a change of perspective, really. How I am choosing to see the messy in my day? Because problems will come. Challenges will present themselves to me every single day. But I get to choose how I will see them. I get the chance to see Jesus in them.

Because He IS HERE! Even in the deep waters, the rushing rivers and the blistering fire.

He is here!

And on this Wednesday I know I need to see Him! So, with camera in hand I race out into the country fields to find Him. And maybe it's because I want to drown the world out a bit. And I realize that I can see Him! He truly has never left.

I just have to want to see Him more than I want to wallow in my overwhelming circumstances.

Oh and I want Him!!

So with my camera I snap a picture that captures the essence of my day.

A sky filled with puffy white clouds that could, before this moment, only be seen as a distraction. A barrier between me and Jesus. But on this night... it's all different now. I see differently now.

And I write this:

“And on a gorgeous Wednesday evening the sky fills with gold and puffy white. And it feels close enough to touch. I smile wide as I fill with joy and peace and in a moment I forget everything else. The noise of the world disappears. The debating and the disagreeing and the ugly that districts me from my peace fades away. And all I feel is joy. A glimpse of heaven. And I don't want to miss the joy this side of eternity. All life can be a hunt for this kind of beauty.”

Finding JOY in the JOurneY,