As For Me

 

It’s a phrase that has been ringing in my ear for years now.
I remember the first time I saw it, or better yet the first time I recall “paying attention” to it.
It was on a card mailed to me by someone I love very much.
And the words written in it were this, “As for me, I will not behave that way toward you ever again.”

Those words, at that time, meant more to me than anything else that could have been spoken.
Because the pain had been great.
And the frustration had been intensifying.

And God, in His kindness, has not allowed me to escape those words in all these years.

As for me.

Because the truth is, so often we are so concerned about what “the other guy” is doing.
“Well - he started it!”
“I’m only doing to him what he did to me.”

And it’s just not the best way to think.  Or the safest way to live.
Ahh, yes, it really is about training our minds to believe differently so that our mouths behave differently.

And in a season of debate it’s challenging.
In a year of media blasts and social unrest and disfiguring violence, it has become increasingly difficult to maintain composure, let alone Christlikeness.

But what is it I just read… “See then that ye walk circumspectly (wisely, strictly, accurately, watchful, well-considered), not as fools, but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil.”  (Eph 5:15-16, KJV)

Redeeming the time.
And could it be that we can?
Redeem the time?
Redeem the year?

Redeem means this - to counter-balance some fault or defect, to compensate for deficiencies in quality.

And so can we… redeem the time?

It may not be a question.
It may be a command.

Because in this… the “days of evil” we must.

Because it’s the single most repeated thought that keeps me up at night…. “I have ones who are watching on and are learning the most about Jesus by close examination of my life.”

Jesus, too, had watchers.
Always looking to trap, trick, and ambush.
“Watching for their opportunity, the leaders sent spies pretending to be honest men.  They tried to get Jesus to say something that could be reported… so he would be arrested.”  (Lk 20:20)

And if they did to him.. they will do to us.  

And so maybe it matters more than we could ever know.

Because what they see in us is what they should be able to know of Jesus.
And I fear, with everything in me, that I owe an apology for every definition of Him that has been misrepresented in the earth.

It might be time for the ones following Jesus to redefine Him to a world who has missed out on the real Savior.

It really, really, really matters.

And so I will continue to ask myself the questions necessary.
And I will fail again to get it right, I’m sure.
But I will keep trying.
Because the hurt in the watchers is too painful to ignore.

“Will what I’m getting ready to do or say bring any amount of discredit on my faith or any amount of dishonor on my Jesus?”

And the filter when communicating, “Is it necessary?  Will it benefit?  Will it add value?  Will it glorify Jesus?  OR Will it only add to the increasing noise?”

The questions… they matter.
Because how we are able to answer holds the largest amount of weight this side of eternity.

As for me… AS FOR ME… I will pray for the strength to live through this filter every day.