Homesick

 

I would say it just last week to a good friend, “I’m so homesick.”
And because she loves me she’d respond, in part, with, “I can’t imagine how it is for you.”

And we would return to my home state over the weekend.  A one-day quick visit to the most beautiful place for years we took for granted.

And it is hard.
And it does hurt.
And we do ache for what was.

But I suppose it is the way it is for the one following Jesus.
Lonely.

I would say it to another friend who sympathized well with my analogy, “I feel like I’m on an island over here.”
Her too.

And I wonder how it is that God is in His kindness arranges wilderness seasons that seem unpleasant and yet somehow advance.
And grow.
And strengthen.
Ahh… because even those surrounded by plenty often experience desolation to some degree.

And I would feel anxious in wilderness at times.
But not to be confused with the desert.

Wilderness is this = "an uncultivated region, uninhabited, and a part of a garden set apart for plants to grow."
Desert is something different.  It is this = "a region so arid because of so little rainfall that is supports only sparse and wildly spaced vegetation, or none at all; an area where few forms of life can exist because of lack or water; barren; infertile."

And I take a breath.
And I see it as clear as day.
The wilderness is not the same as the desert.
Because in the wilderness, there’s an invitation to growth.
In the wilderness, I know I’ve been set apart.
In the wilderness, there’s great purpose and design.

And I think about Jesus.
The one who knew wilderness living at it’s finest.
And I wonder, was He lonely?
Because the way I see, He was.

But Jesus’ thoughts were fixated not on what He was missing, or lacking, or even escaping… but rather what He was obtaining by way of the journey.
He knew the end depended on the way.
And the wandering road was the uncultivated path full of revelation and discovery and improvement.
Jesus knew where He was going and was willing to trade in all of life’s conveniences for the sake of the treasure He always kept in view.
Every step took Him nearer to the day when He would say, “Glorify thou Me with thine own Self… with the glory which I had with Thee before the world was.”  John 17:5.

For Jesus, it was returning to the home He once knew.
And perhaps it’s why the heart that lives nearest to Him, is the one who lives with most homesickness in spirit.
Because we know, by familiarly, the home that awaits us on the other side.
Our soul cannot rest in this weary, dry land.
Because it is not the home our heart belongs to.

And so maybe it’s perfectly okay to be homesick.
And maybe this speaks to your lonely soul, too.

The question most asked, “Is this all there is?” gets answered by me, “NO!  Most certainly not!”

“When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am.”  (John 14:3)

Our home awaits.
And homesick we will always be until we see Him face to face.