Running To Meet Him

It had been a long night.  And I wasn't feeling well.  And I had all the reasons in the world to sleep in.  I could have.  Maybe I should have.  But I would have missed it!  

And on a crisp autumn Sunday in October I desperately need to see Him.

So I wake in the early morning hours to be with Him.  Because something in me longs to be close to Him.  To be cradled in His arms and wooed gently.  Something in me deeply yearns to sit beside her daddy and know that I am safe.

And so when He calls I leap from my bed.  And while the rest of the world sleeps I go to Him.  And I beg Him to open my weary eyes so that I can see.

And there's something quite magical about the hour just before the sun comes up.  When the world is still and quiet.  There is an unexplainable peace that overtakes a soul as the eyes prepare to behold something as majestic as a sunrise.

"Arise, O sleeper, rise up from the dead, and Christ will give you light."  {Eph 5:14} 

 

And I watch the birds as they dance to the beauty of this place.  The birds - they understand the secret to this maddening world.  They hold the key to peace and contentment.  Because every day they awaken to this... glory!  And there's no worry and stress in them.  Because they arise to this idea that this moment... right now... has been created just for them.  And I see them, as if for the very first time... soaking it all in.  Soaring high above the clouds.

"Look at the birds.  They don't plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them."  {Matt 6:26}

No worries of what is to come.  Even with winter approaching and an uncertain future... they hold in them the secret to fullest life.

And I want to live like that.  Full of life.  
I want to awaken daily to this beauty and inhale His Grace.

God, in all His goodness, created this sunrise for me today, yes, but He created this moment for me.  This one present promised moment.  This one single, amazing moment I'm sitting in right now.  And I could have missed it.  Again.

Because I am not promised tomorrow.

I have been given this one life - and in order to exhale His glory I must first inhale His beauty.

And so I ask for God to Awaken My Soul!

And He does.

Oh how He loves!

And as I turn to go I thank Him.  A thousand times I thank Him! 
For another day.  Another gift.  Abundant Grace.

Father God, forgive me for the times I have missed this... the wonder of one single moment.  The beauty of a simple sunrise... created just for me.  Keep my eyes fully alert to Your glory!  

 Finding JOY in the JOurneY,

Ridding ME of Me

I talk to God a lot and my conversations are so often the same. Me pleading for Him to show up, me asking Him to do a mighty work in my life, me begging Him to use me for His glory. And now even looking back over that long sentence (a run-on one, too, I might add) I see a common theme that keeps rearing it's ugly little head.

Me.

Because all too often I make it ALL about me.

And here's how those requests to God usually end up being translated:

• Show up in my life... as long as it's convenient for me and doesn't disrupt my precious schedule.
• Do a might work in my life... as long as I don't have to sacrifice anything too significant.
• Use me for Your glory... as long as it makes me look good in the process.

And somehow even in an innocent-enough way of attempting to seem very spiritual, I have missed the point entirely.

And what is it really? Do I honestly believe that God, in all His power and wisdom and sovereignty, needs my input and my expertise to accomplish His plan and purpose?

Because He doesn't.

Despite my overwhelming desire to control and my inability to surrender fully, He does not need my input.

And I open right to it. There in Matthew, chapter 16. Jesus begins explaining to His disciples that it would be necessary for Him to go to Jerusalem and suffer many terrible things at the hands of the elders, leading priests, and teachers of the religious law. With clarity He detailed that He would be killed and on the third day be raised from the dead.

“But Peter took Him aside and began to reprimand Him for saying such things. 'Heaven forbid, Lord' he said. 'This will never happen to you.'” {Matt 16:22} NLT

And I get what Peter is saying here. I understand the deep pain He must have felt at the very thought of His beloved Jesus being taken from him. In all of his humanness, Peter couldn't imagine a life without His King. And He was desperately trying to control the situation. The way I desperately try to control my own situations.

And Jesus, turning to Peter says the harsh words almost too painful to read,

“Get away from me, Satan! You are a dangerous trap for Me. You are seeing things merely from a human point of view, not from God's.'” {Matt 16:23}

Peter was not ill-intentioned. He loved Jesus. But he was in the way.

And I, too, get in the way.

I am Peter.

And it's the worldly thinking that will destroy me every time. It's when I think my ways are better. It's when I think that this whole giant cosmos is spinning wildly just for me. It's when I allow my desires and my needs to supersede His will and His perfectly predestined plan.

Because what He needs is for me to be fully surrendered. What He needs from me are palms. Palms that are spread wide and faced upwardly. What He needs is for me to get out of the way so that I can look less like me and more like His Son.

And oh He sees me. Here struggling. Here waiting. Here fighting breathlessly for authority and control. And in goodness and mercy He waits until I move over so that He can move on.

Because that's the only way to do it. If I want to look more like Jesus I must empty my life of anything that screams ME. I must decide that His ways are greater.

“If any of you wants to be My follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow Me. If you try to hang on to your life you will lose it. But if you give up your life for My sake and for the sake of the Good News, you will save it.” {Mark 8:34-35}

So I pray with unclenched fists that God would take this life and make it great DESPITE me. That He would use me only if it brings Him the glory that He deserves.

Less of me... more Him.

 Finding JOY in the JOurneY,

 

A Patient God

I think about it a lot. How patient God is with me!

I mean some days I can be so dense. And so bull-headed. And so un-teachable.

Some days I pray for God to show up...

And He gently whispers from the pages of scripture, “[I] will never leave you or forsake you.” {Deut 31:8} NLT

And wasn't it Jacob who also wrestled with this? But awaking from His sleep He realizes, “Surely the Lord is in this place, and I wasn't even aware of it!” {Genesis 28:16} NLT

Some days I worry about the future...

And God, in all of His infinite wisdom and grace floods my heart with this single promise, “For I know the plans I have for you... they are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” {Jeremiah 29:11} NLT

And wasn't it Rahab who entrusted her future, and the future of her family to the kindness of Joshua's spies and to Yahweh, Israel's God? And didn't this trust lead her straight into the lineage of Jesus Christ... wife to Salmon, mother to Boaz, mother-in-law to Ruth, great-grandmother to King David? A future Rahab could never have imaged, because of the grace of our great God! {Matthew 1:5-6}

Some days I beg for the strength to make it through another day...

And with the boom of a trumpet blast He proclaims to me, “He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless. Even youths will become weak and tired, and young men will fall in exhaustion. But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.” {Isaiah 40:29-31} NLT

And wasn't it Daniel, trapped within a den of lions who was spared by the strength of the living God and resounded with praise for His rescue, “Long live the King! My God sent His angel to shut the lions' mouths so they would not hurt me, for I have been found innocent in His sight.” {Daniel 6:21-22} NLT

Some days I long for the peace of Jesus...

And I see it there, written to me, the promise of peace, “I am leaving you with a gift – peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give you is a gift the world cannot give. So don't be troubled or afraid.”

And Solomon understood it, “But now the Lord my God has given me peace on every side; I have no enemies, and all is well.” {1 Kings 5:4} NLT

Some days I worry and I fret and I stress over things that consume me and overwhelm me. Some days I simply forget about the promises of God. A good God. A patient God. The one who bends down, leans in, cradles my face in His strong hands and reminds me, “I've got this, dear one.”

How patient He is!

He was patient with Adam and Eve and the Israelites and He is patient with me. Because He is refining me and shaping me and stretching me and growing me.

And I am enormously grateful for the process and for His beautiful grace!

And on an afternoon in July I see the rows of corn. And I think about my own process of developing and I etch it out:

“And I see it in the growing rows of golden yellow. And we're happy to wait for it because it's worth it. And I think about my own growth journey. How patient He is in the developing of a soul. The sun strengthens but the rain is necessary too. How grateful I am for the waiting period. My growth is dependent on it. Thankful and blessed!”

Finding JOY in the JOurneY,

Where Is Jesus?

I suppose we all have those days. Days that are filled with sticky messes. Days that overwhelm us. Days that distract us from our relationship with Jesus Christ.

Our intentions are good. And on this day I had wanted to be a good Christian girl. I wanted to get it right. But some days we are simply overtaken by worry and doubt and greed and selfishness. Some days, even by 10 a.m., we're ready to quit.

And we ask ourselves... “Where is Jesus?”

Like, really, “Where is He?”

Because it's Wednesday and all hell has already broken loose in my life. The dishwasher isn't working, the lawn mower is in need of {another} $800 repair and our grass is in serious need of attention!, the garbage disposal smells funny, the electric bill will be late because, well, we've been behind now for months and we just can't seem to get ahead, the tuition bill is looming in the inbox where it has resided for 2 months now – and it's glaring at me with an intense fire.

And I just want to cry.

And I ask again, “Where is Jesus?”

In this maddening world consumed by debt and cancer and bombs and all things out of control, I feel my life begin to spiral.

And I wonder, “Where is Jesus?”

I can't seem to find Him. And I know He's here somewhere.

Because I've read it... probably a thousand times my eyes have scrolled the pages with this promise, “... I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” {Matthew 28:20} NLT

And on this day... a Wednesday... I have to make a phone call I don't want to make. I have to forgive that person I have no desire to show mercy to. The ungrateful child is making excuses again. That person has pulled out in front of me in traffic.

And I am weary.

Where is Jesus in this mess?

And could it be that He never really left?

Because I read it in scripture once again, “When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.” {Isaiah 43:2) NLT

And maybe I had just forgotten. He is here. In the deep waters, through the rivers, through the fire.

He is here.

Right here.

And He never leaves.

And maybe these struggles are teaching me something. Because peace can be found in the deep waters and the rivers and the fire.

Just think about that.

Have you ever been out on a boat in the middle of the lake? Out there where it's deep and the dark blue envelope you with it's strength? There is a peace that can be be found there in the deep waters.

What about the river? Have you even canoed down a winding river with all it's twists and turns and felt the whisper of the wind sweep your face? There is a peace that can be found there on the river.

Consider the fire. Have you ever spent a summer evening sitting fireside with dear friends finding yourself mesmerized by the swirling flames of brilliant orange and yellow? There is a peace that can be found in the fire.

And when it comes right down to it, it is a change of perspective, really. How I am choosing to see the messy in my day? Because problems will come. Challenges will present themselves to me every single day. But I get to choose how I will see them. I get the chance to see Jesus in them.

Because He IS HERE! Even in the deep waters, the rushing rivers and the blistering fire.

He is here!

And on this Wednesday I know I need to see Him! So, with camera in hand I race out into the country fields to find Him. And maybe it's because I want to drown the world out a bit. And I realize that I can see Him! He truly has never left.

I just have to want to see Him more than I want to wallow in my overwhelming circumstances.

Oh and I want Him!!

So with my camera I snap a picture that captures the essence of my day.

A sky filled with puffy white clouds that could, before this moment, only be seen as a distraction. A barrier between me and Jesus. But on this night... it's all different now. I see differently now.

And I write this:

“And on a gorgeous Wednesday evening the sky fills with gold and puffy white. And it feels close enough to touch. I smile wide as I fill with joy and peace and in a moment I forget everything else. The noise of the world disappears. The debating and the disagreeing and the ugly that districts me from my peace fades away. And all I feel is joy. A glimpse of heaven. And I don't want to miss the joy this side of eternity. All life can be a hunt for this kind of beauty.”

Finding JOY in the JOurneY,