Worry is a Weight

I don’t like the admission of it. 

But I worry sometimes.

I try not to. 
I know it’s not the right thing.
I know at a deep level Who is in control.
I encourage others to not give in to it.
But sometimes it rears it’s ugly head in my life.
And I am forced to deal with it.

And on a cold, snowy Thursday morning as I laid in a hospital bed for the 7th day in a row, I started to worry.

The plans for discharge were in motion and the thought of leaving without solid answers was a bit discouraging.  And scary at the same time.

But I would happen upon it from a list of “fear” scriptures sent to me by a good friend, who would later share with me her commitment to praying each scripture over me from her home.

And there it was…. Proverbs 12:25.

It kind of leapt off the page at me, begging for a closer look.

“Worry weighs a person down; an encouraging word cheers a person up.”

Ahh… Worry weighs a person down.

Yes… it really does.

And I had felt the overwhelming weight that morning. 
The weight of unanswered questions.
The weight of frustrating diagnoses.
The weight of what-if’s.
The weight of guilt from feeling fearful.

Worry. 

It weighs us down.
Because some seasons of life are just… hard.

But the Bible teaches us that worry is the action that lowers the heart down and depletes us of the energy to fulfill the call of God on our life.

And then I ran across this thought after my study a bit deeper into Proverbs 12:25.  Fear and sorrow upon our spirit deprive us of the vigor in the work that needs to be done, or the courage in what is to be born.

And hadn't I just prayed it the morning before the hospitalization?

Awaken us!

I’d not only wrote it - but said it.  Out loud.

With palms up I had prayed it bold and confident.

Awaken us from slumber.  Use me for Your greater purpose in this dry land!

And the very day I prayed it… here is where I would reside with unresolved pain issues and a flare-up of an old, seemingly dormant condition.

Ahh… but what did that say again?  “Fear and sorrow deprive us of the VIGOR (strength) in the work that needs to be done, or the COUAGE in what is to be born.”

I could be denying myself the power of the resurrected Savior that lives inside me by worrying.  And by worrying, I could just be depriving myself of the strength to fulfill my calling and the courage to begin the new thing He’s asking me to bring forth.

Worry is a weight.  And we must learn to let it go simply because it’s too heavy for us to carry, and because the success of my life’s work is dependent on the release of what I was never meant to bear.