THIS Is How I Fight My Battles - Awake!!!

 

Can I be real and honest for a moment?

This last week has been hard.

I would be lying if I said it wasn’t.

Every day has proved to be a challenge in some way, shape, or form.

Sadness has swept in.
Loneliness has nestled in and made it’s home here.

In the last 5 days my heart has felt all the feelings.
Feelings of loss and grief and anxiety and fear and isolation and regret, even.

And although I am somewhat familiar with these feelings, I am certainly not immune to their affect.

I heard the traditional Christmas song the other day and the words made a leap into my soul as though they were echoing my heart song… “A thrill of hope… the weary world rejoices.”

And it feels like that.
We are a weary world.
I am a weary soul.
We all feel it and we are all experiencing it.

And then like an arrow shot in to my heart I read the words in the Book of life.
“Wake up, Deborah, wake up!  Wake up, wake up, and sing a song!”  (Judges 5:12)

And two most interesting observations appear to me as I read:
1.) Deborah is singing this song to herself.
2.) There’s an interesting word… the word, “and” that lies almost highlighted to me within the text.

Deborah is speaking to her weary heart too, “Wake up… AND sing a song.”
She doesn’t wait until she “feels” like praising.
She exercises her will.
She bends her tendencies.
She surrenders her desires.
She strengthens herself in the Lord.

Feelings often fail us.  And they don’t always promise growth.
Feelings cannot be appropriately trusted.
And feelings don’t have to… and shouldn’t… define us or influence us.

Deborah speaks to her soul and tells it to AWAKE!
She calls on her own soul to improve the awakening with praise!

And so must we.  
So must I.

When anxiety and sadness come, it’s not by accident.
Truthfully, they come because we have opened the door and let them in.
I have, even unknowingly at times, invited them in.
And largely because of my entanglement with the world.

And so this right here is how I am choosing to fight the battles that rage within.

To the “feelings” of failure… I will awaken my soul to my purpose and press forward to win the prize.  (Phil 3:14)
To the “feelings” of fear… I will awaken my mouth to sing a song of worship until my heart begins to soften to the presence of our Savior sweetly ushered in by praise.  (Ps 96:1)
To the “feelings” of doubt… I will awaken my mind to remember the countless times I have been carried by a good Father who prevents my feet from hitting rock bottom. (Ps 91:12)

"The JOY of the LORD is my strength."  (Neh 8:10)

And so this is how it looks to fight my battles.
To lean in to see what the Lord is saying.
To awaken my soul the way Deborah does.
To remind myself that mourning is necessary for a season, but the lingering in it weakens.  
That doubt serves it’s purpose, but the recurrence of it destroys my strength.
And groping among the ashes of what I have unintentionally allowed to burn, makes me too earthly and less heavenly minded.

Awaken yourself.  Don’t wait for someone else to do it for you.  
And for heaven’s sake, do it quickly and do it before the feeling for it instructs.

Yes, our good, good Father meets us where we are…  but He is not content to leave us there.

Wake up.  AND sing!
Spurgeon said it best, “Jesus wept, but He also bled.”