Conviction AND Conversion

Last week was a busy week.
And in the heart of the hectic-ness, I decided that it was time our bedroom closet got cleaned out. From top to bottom.
Yeah… yay, me.
So, on a cold, rainy Tuesday morning, I tackled the beast with full gusto.
For almost 3 hours, I cleaned, organized, washed, and reconfigured the space to my liking and proudly stood back to admire my accomplishment.
And I felt satisfied.
Until about 4 p.m. that same afternoon.
I was sitting at my office desk, that is positioned directly opposite of my bedroom closet wall, when out of nowhere came this horrifying sound. A crash… a bang… that lasted way longer than it should have.
Tiptoeing in the room with my daughter to assess the issue led to panic when I witnessed the ENTIRE top shelving unit had came detached from the wall and was laying in disarray all over the closet floor, spilling onto the bedroom carpet.
Shoe boxes, blankets, bags, purses, and yes… even that gigantic box of treasured greeting cards saved for nearing 20 years of marriage… all toppled over and now canvasing my only recently pristine bedroom.
Hands to head. “What on EARTH am I going to do now?”
It was all I could say for about 20 minutes.
Refocusing on dinner, I decided to relay the news gently to my husband. Because the last thing I knew he wanted to have to attend to after a hard day at work was… this!
And when he saw it? There was not panic. There was not fear. There was not anger.
Disappointment, yes, but not loud words of frustration.
Just one simple question… “Wanna go to Lowe’s with me?”
And what you need to know about our behavior was that it was not always this way.
There was a time when this sort of inconvenience… this sort of set-back… this sort of derailment would have uncovered some very ugly reactions. In both of us.
But you know what my first thought was when it happened and my daughter was present?
My first thought was, “How am I going to behave in this mess?”
Because I had an observer.
And in the same week she had been a witness to me praying, and reading scripture, and serving our community. And the same mouth that proclaimed His goodness, HAD to be the same mouth that reserved the right of anger and denied it anyway.
Because after all - the problem isn’t that what we are saying is wrong. I was upset. I was tired. I was overwhelmed. But the problem is in how we are behaving. It’s what I choose to DO with the irritation that can be the most damaging of all.
It’s no surprise, really, and so like our God when He speaks, that I would write in my journal only days prior to this incident: “You cannot have conviction without conversion. If you’re going anywhere with God, one must accompany the other. Christians must stop compromising their influence and God’s reputation by insisting on remaining unconverted… just like the world.”
So - we have a choice.
Today.
Everyday.
I know it’s a closet. And in the great big scheme of things, seems irrelevant to the greater aspects of Christian living and personal growth, but I believe EVERYTHING matters. And lessons can be found… even in closet reorganization!