Watching With Expectation

Psalm 5:3 in The Passion Translation says this, “At every sunrise You will hear my voice as I prepare my sacrifice of prayer to You. Every morning I lay out the pieces of my life on the altar and wait for Your Fire to fall upon my heart.”

The Message, in part, says this, “... and watch for fire to descend.”

And the KJV says it like this, “... I will look up!”

To wait, to look up, to watch with expectation means to lean forward, to peer into the distance, to observe, await.

The Hebrew can also be translated here to read, “I’ll be on the watchtower (for the answer to come.)”. And Psalm 88:13 says, “At each and every sunrise You will continue to hear my cry until you answer.”

“Look up” comes from the Hebrew root word, “Mizpeh”, or “watchtower”. The Psalmist looks up for the answer to his prayer as the seer on his tower (Hab 2:1) looks up for his inspiration.

Confidence. Hope. Faith. Expectation.
The way in which the believer is supposed to be postured.

Because I wonder often if we’re too busy in the mode of supplication to focus on the movement of the Savior. Are we leaning in... staying watchful to what He’s doing?

My commentary says, “We sow the seed, and are too idle to seek a harvest.” It goes on to say, “How can we expect the Lord to open the windows of His grace, and pour us out a blessing, if we will not open the windows of expectation and look for the promised favor?”

Our petitions must produce in us a holy expectation for His goodness and grace and love and mercy. Micah 7:7 says, “As for me, I look to the Lord for help. I wait confidently for God to save me, and my God will certainly hear me.”

Oh that I would daily learn to pray boldly. May I seek after Him as one who is deeply dissatisfied with anything less than His recognizable voice as He swiftly answers the cries of my heart.

I wait. And watch. With a heart set ablaze for Your rescue.

Experience His Goodness

Do you know how good our God is? Do you know how merciful He is and how tender and how strong and mighty? Do you know how much He loves you and how radical and unavailable His grace is?

Because the truth really is that we only know these things by experience with Him. We can say these things with ultimate confidence because of an encounter with Him. And we can only maintain a steady view of His character by a daily pursuit of Him.

In 2019, let’s make it a priority to experience His goodness while encountering His presence as we daily seek after Him!

Oh God, you are so so so good!!

Be It Unto Me

“Be it unto me according to Your Word.” Luke 1:38.

Mary.

And I cannot imagine what she must have been thinking.

The angel had just spoken the words to her, “You will conceive and give birth to a Son and you will name Him Jesus....The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you.” (verses 31,35)

And yet her response to something she didn’t understand, something that she couldn’t rationalize, something that made absolutely no sense, was, “Be it unto me according to Your Word.”

Oh Mary. How I admire you so!

Her simple response spoken out of obedience was her ‘amen’ to what He was doing.

“Be it unto me according to Your Word.”

Jesus... I surrender and I invite You in to do the work that only You can do.

I may not understand it... I may not like the feel of it... I may not yet appreciate it... but I can live surrendered to it.

Jesus came so that His life would reveal the Father. My life, then, should reveal the Savior.

I’d write it in my prayer journal. A cry of this weary heart: Whatever You have for me, would You make it to happen - all according to Your design! I surrender to Your plan. My life is for Your purposes. Fulfill in my life Your ultimate will!

Be it unto me according to Your Word!

May THIS Even Glorify God!

I know.

Your season of suffering and loneliness and waiting can look so long and painful.

I get it.

But my prayer in the difficult journey has been: Lord change me. Prepare me in the waiting. Do a work that only You can do.

Our behavior in hard times should bring us to boldly say of every difficulty consuming us - “May this... yes even THIS... glorify God!”

Speak Life

 

The assignment of our Jesus was clear. 

 

 He came to reveal the Father.

And He did it perfectly.

By saying only what He heard the Father say, and by doing only what He saw the Father do. (John 5)

And our assignment is the same.

I can not afford to lose sight of my purpose!

To reveal the Father.

May I take my assignment seriously. My order to come into agreement with His Word and speak life into He areas that once were dead!

For me... for me... only Jesus!

Do You Frequent Him?

Psalm 9:10 is truth I’m holding tightly to. “Those who know Your name trust in You, for You, O Lord do not abandon those who search for You.” Such glorious truth this Monday morning! He will not abandon those who know Him; those who seek Him.

Here the word seek means to frequent. And so I can say it this way: “He doesn’t abandon those who frequent Him.” And I wonder... do you know Him? Because we are known by our frequent adherence to Him. By our steadfast dependency of Him. And by our faithful focus on His face. Second Corinthians 3:18 tells us that we are made more in His glorious likeness when the “veil is removed”. Ahh yes, transformation comes only from beholding. By contemplating Christ, we reflect His image!

The more He is known by us, the more He will be loved by us and trusted by His weary wanderers. And this knowing isn’t to be as a spectator, but as an experimenter. We know Him only by experience. I can obtain testimony and be inspired, but I am forever radically changed by my personal encounter with Jesus and by authentic acquaintance with His character.

The more I know of His attributes, the more I can trust His acts and the easier it will be for me to deflect the arrow of the enemy that’s aim is to keep me despondent, depressed, and full of despair.

And so I ask you: Do you know Him? Are you seeking Him? Is your time with Him priority? Friend... it’s the safest and surest way out of suffering. In our affliction, it is the truest behavior for those who know the mercy of God and who have tasted for themselves the love and acceptance of the Savior to say, “I have passed through it and it was only God who made a way out! Blessed be the name of the Lord!” He’s crazy, madly, deeply in love with you. Every part of you! Even the part you try to hide! Especially that part! And He would not have done so much for you already if He meant to leave you there!

Seek Him. Know Him. Ruin is absolutely impossible for those who cry to Him!

And if you don’t know Him.. I’d be happy to help introduce you to Him! It’s never... ever... ever too late!

A Different Kind Of Christmas

Nine years ago, Christmas looked a lot different. Much different than we anticipated.

I remember (and recall it often) the day he pulled out of the driveway on his way to the airport, headed to Arizona for what was supposed to be a 3 day business trip. For some reason, this time felt different than all the other times I’d watched him leave. I didn’t know why, but I remember looking at him in the distance for quite a while... praying for his travel safety and feeling slightly uneasy about his departure.

Three days later he’d call me form a hotel room at 6 o’clock in the evening to tell me he wasn’t feeling well, and he was going to bed early. I’d worry about him, knowing he was running a fever and I wasn’t there to tend to his illness. But there wasn’t much I could do being over 1500 miles away.

The next morning he’d call to tell me he was headed to the emergency room because the “illness” wasn’t getting any better - and in that moment I knew something was wrong.

Diverticulitis.
A ruptured bowel.
Sepsis.
Hospital admittance.
Emergency surgery.
Respiratory failure.
Re-intubation.

All words that were used to describe his grave condition. All words that would stir within us fear, anxiety, worry, doubt, and panic.

And as I stood in a foreign hospital, hundreds of miles away from my home, with my 9-year-old baby girl, awaiting a doctors report that sounded more grim than hopeful, the attending nurse handed me my husband’s personal belongings, including his wedding band, and whispered to me, “He’d want you to have this. Go home and we’ll call you it his condition improves.”

I’d spend the whole night in tears. I’d spend hours clinging to my little girl who’s bravery far exceeded my own. I’d make a phone call to my best friend who’d pray with me at nearing 2 a.m. And I’d call every hour on the hour to a hospital ICU praying that he had awoken and was already joking with the medical staff.

And that news would come the next afternoon.

And I would praise God that he was awake!

Chloe couldn’t see him in those first hours. It wasn’t safe for him and it wasn’t appropriate for her. And so for 2 days I would toggle between being supportive wife, and caring momma.

And we’d spend the next 8 days in a hospital room not much bigger than our master bathroom, and the next 2 weeks helping our sweet daddy/hubby recover to the point of being eligible to fly home.
And we’d recall this experience over be last 9 years many times.

And yet somehow, this year, it affects me even more. Because there’s the take-always from that season of our life:

- Christmas doesn’t always look the way we plan it. You can plan and create and organize and bake and buy, but sometimes life throws a curve ball you never saw coming and you cannot control the outcome.
- People all over are dealing with heavy issues that are more painful than we could ever know. Some are barely scathing through this holiday season and some are so wracked with depression and sadness, that is only heightened by the season gleefully labeled, “the most wonderful time of the year!”
- At the end of the day family and loved ones are the superior need for every soul alive. We don’t need more trinkets... we need more treasured time with those we love the most.
That Christmas didn’t look at all like we planned it to look, but it was, indeed, the most precious Christmas we’ve ever had.

There were no Christmas lights, no hot cocoa, no presents to unwrap, no Christmas tree, no pine candles, no Christmas cookies and Gingerbread houses, and no snow falling outside of our window.
There WAS a 9-inch Christmas tree we bought at Walgreen’s, a battery operated lighted snowman we left turned on through the lonely nights in the hotel room, and on a Christmas Eve there was a momma and a daughter who’d sing “Away In A Manger”, and give thanks for giving their daddy/hubby a second chance.

No, Christmas sometimes doesn’t look the way we want it to, or plan on, but it still can be beautiful. And peaceful. And memorable.

The first Christmas was that way too.

A barn. A feeding trough. Shepherds.

And yet it was the most miraculous night ever.

And so this Christmas... let’s focus on what really matters. And let everything else go. Let’s not fixate on perfection... let’s live grateful for every moment we’ve been given. It’s all... every aching and beautiful bit of it... gift!

My Prayer Warrior Friend

This is a picture of my friend Peggy. You can’t see her really well... but that’s hardly the point. And she’s not here on social media, so she’ll never see this, yet that’s not the point either.

I met Peggy about a year ago and really got to know her better through a group I led at church this past fall.

And I simply adore her.

And what I love best about her is the story that a lot of people might not know.

This woman of God attends both gatherings every week at Bethany. She arrives early, sits off to the side, and sits through both morning services.

In between gatherings, you can find her sitting upstairs in the prayer room.

Every single week.

Peggy is a prayer warrior. And her purpose for being present all morning long at church is to intercede for the needs of our church body.

She makes no announcement of this, and draws absolutely no attention to herself. She doesn’t “advertise” her prayers and besides her bright friendly smile, you may never know she’s there rushing the throne room for those she calls family.

But she’s there. And she’s faithful. And she’s radically changing the atmosphere each and every week!

You and I may never know the voices raised to heaven on our behalf consistently and faithfully. But I believe there are angels sent by God Himself, who are interceding and believing for big things for you and me! There’s somebody right now who is likely believing God for the miracle you’ve been waiting for.

And may we learn something from Peggy. That we have an opportunity every day to be difference makers this side of eternity. Others are counting on us!

What We Say

This girl had me the day she was born. She’s near and dear to my heart and I’m always happy to spend time with her.

On Friday night when she came over to help me get things ready for the Annual Cookie Bake, one of her assignments was to help me select 3 games for our family to play.

Looking through some of the games we’ve played in the past she’d say from time to time, “This one isn’t a very good one.” Realizing that I had chosen those games myself, she would gently follow it up with, “It was a great thought though!” or “I can see why you would’ve selected that one!” God bless her heart!

And yet shouldn’t we strive to be more like that? Encouraging one another. Reaffirming the choice of another even if it’s not one we would have chosen ourself.

Carli was focusing on loving well. Choosing words of life. Remaining positive.

Words carry life or death. Let’s choose well!

Waiting

We all find ourselves in a season of waiting at one point or another.

Waiting for the doctor report.
Waiting for the marriage to be restored.
Waiting for the financial breakthrough.
Waiting for a directional assignment.
Waiting for clarity over a decision that has to be made.

Waiting is hard.

And this morning I said the words again. The ones that have been on repeat for this wanderer: “We can’t know what You’re doing, but we can trust You in the process.”

Yes. That!

And in that moment He would ask that I’d look that word up. Because sometimes we think we know a meaning, but there’s deeper revelation in it. More He’s willing to expose to a willing recipient.
The word process. It means this... “a systematic series of actions directed to some end; a series of changes taking place in a definite manner; the condition of being carried on; sometimes to undergo an aptitude examination before the termination of a period of time; to convert into marketable form by a special series of steps; prepared or modified; a series of progressive and interdependent steps by which an end is attained.

Yes!

The process!

Your aim, God, is always heart transformation. The pause is always to make us profitable.

And so you and I can trust the process. The process that is directed at an end... the process that reminds us that we never go in it alone - but rather we are carried on. The process that allows conversion by way of steps that are safeguarded by the One who knows the benefit that will be ultimately produced by consistent determination to stay in the game no matter what.

He’s preparing you even now in the waiting, for bigger things than you can ever imagine!

Hang on sweet friend. Embrace the process. Trust the process. He’s in the middle just waiting for your full surrendered heart.

And He’s all you’ll ever need to make it through to the end.

A Redemptive Solution

Because the truth really is that we don’t know what other people are going through.

Especially during the holiday season.

I felt it this morning. On an errand run. The sting that comes from irritation. And the heavy burden that accommodates the inflammation of an ill-tempered disposition.

And I recognized it’s ugly head when I saw it this morning. Oh how I’m more easily provoked sometimes by things that really matter least. Ahh.. more evidence of my desperate need for grace. And heart work.

Because at the end of the day it was only a trivial thing. A split second decision by another driver to pull out in front of me. And yet a decision that carried with it the power to alter a day. A life even. Because it’s not as much about their mistake as much as it is about my reaction to their miscalculation.

And grace is always the better path to embrace. Always the wisest road to wander.

And so this morning I pause long to consider a different approach to irritation and bitterness and annoyance. And I wrestle to the ground the very question I’d presented to a room filled with hungry souls last night (again), “What is it that Jesus brought into every situation that made it radically different?”

Grace. Love. Forgiveness. Healing. Acceptance.

And redemptive solutions.

Ahh... yes... this!

And because He made it possible, I too can choose redemptive solutions. I, too, can submit to a better way of thinking. And behaving.

Because we’re all facing something that seems impossible. We’re all dealing with a fear nobody else can see. Some of us are wrestling with loneliness that others would be surprised by. Anxiety, doubt, worry, guilt, shame. We all face something. And I have no authority to assume an intentional wrong motive in another; not especially when the Word tells me I can’t even know my own heart (Jer 17:9).
And so today I choose peace. I choose to extend grace even when they’re undeserving.

Because if I recall correctly, His great grace on my life is undeserved. And in my own pain I am a mistake-maker too.

Today I can offer amazing grace as I remember the weakness through mutual suffering we all share.

Thy Will Be Done

Because some days you need reminded, and so you wear the words.

Thy will be done.

Not my own will.
Not my own comfort.
Not my own priorities.
Not my own agenda.
Not my own convenience.

Your will.

Because you know better than me. And because I trust You in your perfect plan.

Inconvenience

I typically don’t share this sort of thing... but today I was impacted to say something.

Trevor and I are visiting a coffee shop in downtown Sylvania today. Cute place. Good coffee. Quaint environment.

And then this couple.

I snuck the picture hoping to not get caught. And while I really dislike random pictures posted on social media of unassuming patrons, I was compelled to share some thoughts on what I see in this simple snapshot taken just after the midday rush.

I watched this sweet couple sit down to a late lunch, taking a back corner table. I witnessed this sweet man serve his lovely wife... attending to her every need. Getting the food, then the silverware, even so much as spreading out her napkin for her. I watched her smile in what seemed like adoring appreciation. And then I watched as he took his own seat... out of breath a bit and noticeably shaky.

Not 3 minutes passed before a woman approached them.. apparently someone they knew. And after a brief conversation, they invited her to join them.

And then the word hit me. The word I’d chosen to be my “word of the year” in 2016. A word the Lord and I would wrestle with.

Inconvenience.

Inconvenience. A hinderance; trouble; something difficult; disadvantage; uneasiness.

And I’ve seen inconvenience in the way the suffering Savior served. Bending Himself for others. Going out of His way to heal sick. Allowing interruption to the flow to be kind, give generously, serve selflessly.

The Jesus way.

And so I’m inspired today to take note of this lovely couple.. the ones whose names I’ll never know. I’m encouraged to allow myself to be broken and inconvenienced in my love for others today.

Because love always sacrifices.

I take away today these things:

• To love another well is to be willing to sacrifice comfort.
• To love well is to serve gladly.
• To love well is to say yes even when it would “feel better” to say no.
• To love well is to maintain honor and dignity while looking past what they “deserve”.

We’ve got this one life, this one chance to love well. To live inconvenienced for the sake of other people.

Because I am radically loved... I can radically love!

He Died For That!

Some things are just so heavy.

And yet I wonder how long we will insist on carrying around the load we were never meant to carry?

Because that thing you’re so overwhelmed with... that painful situation, that bleak diagnosis, that offense, that rejection... that thing you’re carrying with you was never intended to be carried by you. It’s not your assignment and you simply aren’t equipped to bear the weight of discouragement it brings.

Jesus is saying to me today.. and maybe you too, “That affliction you’re hauling around with you... I died for that. I suffered a sinners death so you would no longer be responsible for the task that was never part of the original design for human flesh.” 

“I died for that. And that. And that.” 

And so I can release a little easier today. I can let go of the grip I have on the worry that does more harm to my soul than I realize.

The weight is too heavy, yes, and it’s all with intention, purposed by a Father who says, “Hand it over. I’ve got this!”

Some Days I Mess Up

Some days I mess it up.

Entirely.

And I wish life had a “do over” button.

I could have handled the situation better. I could have been a light. I could have responded in grace instead of reacting with carelessness and impatience and blatant disregard to all that the Gospel, I so affectionately cherish, requires of me.

But I didn’t.

Because some situations in life are hard to navigate. Some people make “loving others well” so difficult. And yet hurting people... hurt people.

And I’d felt the instant conviction in my heart. “Show her Jesus” was the assignment. And I failed the test.

And I’d feel the heart burning conviction again in the car ride out of the city. Once from a husband who understands that our fight is never with people.. but always with a real enemy who’s main target is to kill in us all we’ve worked so hard to acquire. Grace. Mercy. Love. He’d almost whisper the words on our silent journey back, “I feel sorry for that woman.”

And I did too. And for me. Because there’s still heart work here too.

And hadn’t I read it earlier? Psalm 24:3, the question: “Who may stand in His holy place?” And the answer, verse 4: “Only those whose hands and hearts are pure.”

And then those piecing words from the familiar song in the car. “I don’t care if they remember me, only Jesus!”

Sigh.

We don’t always get it right.

Sometimes we forget.

We forget to carry Him well. To steward Him appropriately.

Because people are hurting. And they need what we have. Hope. Forgiveness. Patience. Love. Gentleness.

And so I pray a little more today. Give me a heart like Yours, God. Because I must live dissatisfied with anything less than my best.

And today I blew it.

Maybe you did too?

And it’s okay. He has enough grace for whatever burden you carry... for whatever guilt you’re shouldering... for whatever lie you’re believing about the shortcoming you struggle with.

His mercies are new every day. And tomorrow we both get a second chance to be better. Do better.

So grateful for Jesus!

Seek Him!

Psalm 9:10 is truth I’m holding tightly to. “Those who know Your name trust in You, for You, O Lord do not abandon those who search for You.” Such glorious truth this Monday morning! He will not abandon those who know Him; those who seek Him.

Here the word seek means to frequent. And so I can say it this way: “He doesn’t abandon those who frequent Him.” And I wonder... do you know Him? Because we are known by our frequent adherence to Him. By our steadfast dependency of Him. And by our faithful focus on His face. Second Corinthians 3:18 tells us that we are made more in His glorious likeness when the “veil is removed”. Ahh yes, transformation comes only from beholding. By contemplating Christ, we reflect His image!

The more He is known by us, the more He will be loved by us and trusted by His weary wanderers. And this knowing isn’t to be as a spectator, but as an experimenter. We know Him only by experience. I can obtain testimony and be inspired, but I am forever radically changed by my personal encounter with Jesus and by authentic acquaintance with His character.

The more I know of His attributes, the more I can trust His acts and the easier it will be for me to deflect the arrow of the enemy that’s aim is to keep me despondent, depressed, and full of despair.

And so I ask you: Do you know Him? Are you seeking Him? Is your time with Him priority? Friend... it’s the safest and surest way out of suffering. In our affliction, it is the truest behavior for those who know the mercy of God and who have tasted for themselves the love and acceptance of the Savior to say, “I have passed through it and it was only God who made a way out! Blessed be the name of the Lord!” He’s crazy, madly, deeply in love with you. Every part of you! Even the part you try to hide! Especially that part! And He would not have done so much for you already if He meant to leave you there!

Seek Him. Know Him. Ruin is absolutely impossible for those who cry to Him!

And if you don’t know Him.. I’d be happy to help introduce you to Him! It’s never... ever... ever too late!