May No Thing Survive...

I wrote it down in my journal in early fall. And I remember when I heard the words stirring in my spirit. A hard prayer to pray, really.

“May no thing in my life survive that does not bring You honor and glory.”

Hard because it’s a begging for failure of anything less than God-honoring.

It’s brave and bold. And it’s dangerous.

May no thing in my life survive that does not bring You honor and glory.

• That selfishness that rears it’s ugly head and demands rights and clings to entitlement.

• Those few words spoken as gossip because it somehow makes the flesh feel better about self to see imperfections in other people.

• The blatant disregard to love that is anything less than sacrificial.

• The refusal of grace and forgiveness.

• The bitter attitude that insists upon cycles of revenge instead of habits of mercy.

Ahh, Lord… going into the new year may it be different. May we rise above the common denominator of brokenness, and remain unsettled and dissatisfied with anything less than our very best for You.

Because it all matters.

 

 

 

Wisdom In Hesitancy

Have you ever said something you wished you could take back?

I have.

Have you ever hit send on a text message or a Facebook post a little prematurely?

I have.

And it never feels good.

I have been reactionary in far too many situations over the course of my life.  And it doesn't have to be that way.

I was having a great conversation with a friend recently and I was telling her how much I admire her ability to “process”.  It’s a gift, really.  And it’s the same reaction that sometimes makes me a tad bit frustrated when a quick decision must be made, that is the one that I appreciate when it I can see it’s fruitful affect from Christlike character.

Because being reactionary is dangerous.
Being reactionary is disrespectful.
Being reactionary is selfish.
Being reactionary is evidence of unripe fruit.

Oh how I pray to be more of a processor in the coming year.
Thinking before I speak.

In fact… there’s an acronym that resides on the message board just above my office desk that reads THINK before you speak.  Is it True, Is it Helpful, Is it Inspiring, Is it Necessary, and Is it Kind?

Let’s put a ourselves on pause the next time we are tempted to let the arrow fly.  The damage from our reaction might be painful… to us and to them.  And I can guarantee that it’s never worth it in the end.

Proper Sight For Your Precise Flight

I tripped climbing up the stairs the other day.

Yep.  I am that graceful.

Strange, really.  Tripping as I went UP.

I was carrying some heavy boxes up from the basement, and while my close-range vision was obscured, my long-range vision was clear, but altered somewhat - giving me a false illusion to how many steps were still remaining.  It almost took me down completely.  I was looking too far ahead instead of keeping focused on the step that was right in front of me.

And I think it’s like that in life sometimes.  We get too preoccupied with what is going on up ahead.  We get too concerned about the things that are outside of our control.

And God doesn’t want us ahead of Him.  He gives us grace enough for today.  Matthew 6:34 says, “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.”  Ahh… He's here with us today.  In this moment.  And looking too far into the future only proves to be a stumbling block to the blessings God has for us now.  This day.

We get easily distracted and discouraged when we look too far up that staircase.  When we allow ourselves to become too fixated on the future, we lose track of the goodness God has for us in the moment.  God gives proper sight for our precise flight… and it is only revealed to us one step at a time.

Be patient, friend.  He’s got this.  He’s got you.

A New Year Is Coming!

As 2017 comes to an abrupt close, my attention shifts to goal-setting and resolutions.  I love January first.  To me, it has always been symbolic of a fresh start.  A do-over.  I imagine it like a blank canvas of my life where I am the artist and the paint brush is opportunity!

Looking back over my journal from 2017, I came across two scriptures.  Psalm 27:11 says this, “Teach me how to live, O Lord.  Lead me along the right path…”  And then another one, Psalm 5:8, “Lead me on the right path, O Lord… Make Your way plain for me to follow.”

David was a smart man.  Oh he was human and he suffered with the same temptations we suffer from, and he was prone to weakness just like we are… but he was a smart man who maintained high integrity and a deep desire to get it right.  It’s what made him a “man after God’s own heart.”

So often our perspective is misaligned.  We tend to focus too much on why something is happening to us.  “Why are they treating me like this?”  “Why can’t I ever get ahead?”  “Why am I always the one who gets left out?”  But maybe in the new year, we can make a shift in our thinking. 

I love the book of Job for so many reasons, but one thing that stuck out to me this year was the way he responded at the end of book.  After God allowed him to suffer many losses and hardships and utter devastation, Job doesn’t seek to understand why.  At the end of the book he doesn’t receive revelation as to why… because it really didn't matter.  He had his life, He had his God, and that was enough.

My prayer going into the new year is that I would spend less time trying to figure it all out, and more time on praying that God would enable me to be wise and act right in the face of anything I encounter.  I pray that my desire for God to develop me would supersede my desire to learn patterns on how to defeat, defend, and dispute the discouragements, and dissect every misfortune God allows.  My prayer is to constantly seek out the ways to take what’s been given to me… look upon it intensely, and then see what it can be and how it can make me better than before.

It’s coming… a fresh slate!  What will you do with your do-over??

Do Big Things With Great Love

I watched her pretty intently.

It was late and she was still putting together all of the details on the gifts she’d purchased for her friends.  And I snapped a photo in secret like I normally do.  These kinds of moments need capturing above all the others.

But then I did something I don’t always do.  I sat with the photo and I stared intently at it.  For a long time.

Because these are the days that matter most.

A girl.  With her pen.  And some wrapping paper.  And the gifts.  The gifts which represented sacrifice.

Ahh… there’s that word I’ve been wrestling with for over a year now.

Sacrifice.

It’s not the most popular word I’ve ever written about.  Maybe because it’s one of the most uncomfortable words I’ve ever written about.  For this writer-girl too.

But what’s the point of love if it’s not sacrificial.

Because wasn’t it God, Himself, who sacrificed in sending His only Son to earth to serve as the Sin-Pardoner for all?
Wasn't it Jesus who lived every day of His human existence in sacrifice for other people?

John 3:16, “For God so loved the world that He gave…”
Love is in the giving.

Love came down.
Love was inconvenienced.
Love paid the price.

Ahh… love must always cost us something.

And as I watched my girl working late into the night for her people… I jotted it down as if to remind myself daily… “Do big things with great love!  Because it’s worth it!  Be a good friend!  Spend hours creating something for someone else!  Go OUT OF YOUR WAY for those you love.  Sacrifice into the fringe hour.  It all matters!”

Love doesn’t say, “It’s convenient now… come to me!”
Love says, “Despite the inconvenience… I’m coming to you!”

Love really does chase you down!

Let’s not let the spirit of loving and giving and sacrificing end with Christmas Day.  Let’s live as though we truly believe the old adage… it really IS better to give than to receive.

Find Your People!

I was with a friend for a short time yesterday who is such a JOY to be around.  Not just because she's joyful - she IS!  Not just because she is enthusiastic - she IS!  Not just because she is strong and faithful and smart and fun - she IS all of these things.  No… the number one reason I love being around her so much is for her ability to SEE my potential and SPEAK LIFE into these dry bones!

I thought about it this morning as I was reading through 1 Samuel, chapter 25.

A woman by the name of Abigail, married to a bad man named Nabal, and would become an important role in the life of David.  In Nabal’s time of provision, David and his men would come to his aid, however, when the tables were turned and David was in need, Nabal forgot about David and refused him help.  Enraged by this, and maintaining a spirit of fighting so traditionally known to this man after God’s own heart, David ordered his men to get their swords and prepare for battle.

Ahh.. but Abigail. 

In a quick and witty act of humility, Abigail risked her life by attending to the needs of David and his men herself, personally atoning for the sins of her husband, to spare them of certain trouble.  But what I love the most is found in verses 30 and 31, that tell us these words spoken from a determined woman, “When then Lord has done all He has promised and has made you leader of Israel, don't let this be a blemish on your record.”

Two things strike me here: “WHEN the Lord has done it.”  Ah - the confidence she had in the Lord to DO what He said He would do.
And the other: “Don’t let this be a blemish on your record.”

I don’t know for sure, but I can assume that Abigail believed in the would-be-King’s potential.  She knew that this involvement with Nabal would not be worth the risk of losing any amount of his reputation.  And she was willing to remind David WHO He was and to WHOM He belonged.

I think if we can look around and find in our own lives at least a few people like this - we are BLESSED beyond words!

Because we all need encouragers.  We all need people who see past our problems and point to our potential.  We all need people in our corner who are willing to risk their own comfort to ensure that we don’t risk our own calling.  Those who love us enough to see that our worth is so much greater than we could ever see on our own.

Surround yourself with people who promote your potential. 

Competition and Comparison

I am NOT a competitive person.

So maybe that’ why what I am about to say doesn’t seem all that difficult for me. But it’s not because I haven’t struggled with the comparison game.

Because I have.

And I really think comparison goes hand-in-hand with competition.

I was on standby to a situation that happened recently that broke my heart. It was competition, at it’s ugliest, that unfortunately, made way through bitterness and ended up resulting in a very unpleasant atmosphere for everyone involved.

And sometimes we become so fixated on what other people are doing that we totally lose sight off all we are doing. By focusing so much on the success of others, we make way for ungratefulness to take root deep within us, causing us to become bitter, cynical, resentful, and hard to be around.

When we insist on making everything a competition, we disregard the authenticity of relationship, and our misguided feelings lead to inevitable abandonment because no one likes being around people who are always one-upping us, or making us feel inferior to their constant need of approval and acceptance. When we compare ourselves with other people, it leads to an ultimate ceasing of growth of any kind. Instead of taking aim at lofty goals and personal growth, we collapse under the pressure of needing to keep up with an image of perfection that’s really all in our head.

There’s a place for healthy completion. There really is. But maybe it’s time to examine the cost we’re paying as a result of a wrong attitude when it comes to competing and comparing. It will surely rob you of all joy when make it a priority to live with a combative spirit. When contention and conflict are allowed to run wild, everyone loses.

When God Sees Us

I love encouraging other people.

So when a friend messages me on a Monday morning to tell me about an unfortunate episode that she had the night prior involving Christmas cookies being destroyed by her cat, and an unpleasant exchange between herself and her husband as a result, it is no doubt that I was quick to respond with encouragement.

Not because I am eloquent with words.
Not because I have all the answers.
Not because I am an expert in good behavior.

But because I get it.

I make more mistakes than I would ever care to admit.

Some days I yell at my husband.
Some days I am very slow to forgive.
Some days I am selfish and greedy and unkind.

But I reminded my friend about a verse I had just read that morning (oh don’t you just love how sometimes his messages aren’t JUST for you - but for OTHERS too?) In Psalm 139:23-24, David was asking God to point out anything in him that was offensive to God. Even David... a man after God's own heart, as depicted in the bible.. knew he was not free from sin. He knew he was not exempt from making bad mistakes... sometimes VERY bad mistakes. So he prayed, "point out anything that's in me that is not pleasing to you and lead me to everlasting life."

WOW! What an inspiration!! And the way I see this scripture is this: We can pray to have the sin removed... but it takes more bravery to pray, first, for it to be revealed. Why? So we don't make the same mistake over again. And if we do, maybe we will at least not make it a habit any longer.
I encouraged my friend and now I am encouraging you… He is so good in mercy and forgiveness. He doesn't look at what we've done wrong... when He looks at us, He simply sees His Son and what we can become!!!

Grace or Grave?

Two words… once again separated by one letter.

Grace and Grave.

And every day is a choice between these two words.

One gives life.  One brings death.

To live in grace means that we have accepted the selfless sacrifice of a Savior.  It is the unbelievable and undeserving pardon with no rationalization.  Meaning we can not explain it - but we can insist upon its reality in our lives.  We can live open-handed and dispense unconditional love as a result of the relentless pursuit by a God who said, “For you I am willing to go that far!”

To live in the grave means that we have accepted defeat and failure as options.  It is the unnecessary way of demanding probability without reason.  Sure death without cause.  Meaning we are determined to live in a cycle of negativity and self-induced pain which leads to certain soul deterioration.  We can live with selfish motives, jealous burdens, and deeply harbored hatred, and in a sense refuse grace and die an untimely death.

It really is a matter of life or death. 

Grace or grave.

And we get to decide.

Release The Right

1 Peter 2:23 says, "He did not retaliate when He was insulted nor threaten revenge when He suffered. He left His case in the hands of God, who judges fairly." This excerpt taken from Isaiah 53, speaks of Jesus and His example for us in the face of adversity, suffering, and unfair treatment.

And if there's anyone who knows this at a profound level it's Him.

The Message version of this text says it this way, "They called Him every name in the book and He said nothing back. He suffered in silence, content to let God set things right." Are you suffering in silence? Me too!
And He knows, friend. He sees and He knows and He understands.

He used no harsh language.
He showed no anger.
He called for no revenge.
He calmly stood and bore it all.

When Jesus suffered, He never threatened. He was guiltless in His representation of the Father and knew at a very deep level that God's reputation demanded the release of retaliation in order to fulfill the fullness of the gospel message.
And our calling as a Christ follower demands the same kind of commitment. We are to be guiltless in the midst of our unworthiness and be brave enough to leave revenge in the hands of our mighty God.

Our remedy for unjust treatment is releasing our right to retaliate into the hands of a righteous God.

Release the right to retaliate.

It's part of my scripture memory work I did during a portion of the time I was off Facebook last year and this year.

The entire 103rd Psalm. Because there are just some days you need to be reminded and so you dig deep and encourage yourself.

Psalm 103:4 says, "He redeems me from death and crowns me with love and tender mercies."

To redeem means - to buy; clear by payment; to recover; to regain possession of.
To crown means - to honor or reward; invest with honor and dignity.

Friends.. Our God has cleared our payment. He has regained that which was doomed to destruction.  His favor is our salvation! He is protecting His investment and He will not let us fall!

I remember getting to verse 4 and repeating those first 4 verses every single day, over and over. Oh - until I could get it in the marrow of my bone!

And I'm reminding you today: He redeems you and He crowns you!

Your turn to embrace them for yourself: You redeem me and You rescue me!!

Trust God and Let It Go

I had a good idea.

When we set out to purchase and decorate a tree for Adrian’s Annual Comstock Riverwalk this year, I had a good idea that we would put together a tub of winter gear that we would sit beside our tree and make available to anyone who needed these things.

And we filled it to the brim.

We collected hats and mittens and scarves and earmuffs, and gloves, and we loaded them in to a large tub with a laminated sign attached to it that read, “Please take as you need.  Courtesy of Inspire Ministries.  Merry Christmas and God bless!”

As I was placing my items into the box before bringing it down, I prayed over the individual items.  I prayed that the meager gifts would, indeed, be a blessing to people who go without such necessary gear during some of the coldest days in our state.  I prayed that God would not only provide, but that in the process would immensely bless the lives of the recipients of our donations.

For the first couple weeks we saw the items in the box begin to dwindle.  At last look, about half of the items were taken and we were already making plans to purchase new clothing items to replenish.

And then… one day, just a few days later… the entire box was gone.  Items AND tub. 

At first, I guess, we were a little stunned.  I will admit, thoughts entered my mind like, “There were too many things in there to have gotten taken that fast?” and “Why didn’t they at least leave the tub?”

But then I quickly remembered my prayer.

And I said another one.

“God, bless the ones who received.  May their needs have been so great that this was an answer to their prayer.”

Because the truth really is that sacrifices made cannot come with consequences and conditions.  I cannot be a faithful giver if I insist on making the rules and calling the shots.  Sacrifice in generosity must surrender in obedience, and trust that God’s plan is greater than mine.  And on that morning I heard a whisper in my very soul, “Are you going to trust Me?  Because if you’re going to trust Me fully and completely, you’re going to need to give up your tight grip of control… and let it go.”

His thoughts are always higher. His ways are always greater.  And He knows best who's needs are the greatest.  He knows the hearts who hurt and, just maybe, His plan for redemption and restoration this time was a tub filled with winter gear.

I Didn't Know It Was You

I wonder… how many times have I passed Jesus by and didn’t even know it?

Okay, maybe not physically, but go with me for a moment.

The bible teaches us that we were all made in the image of God (Gen 1:27).  All of us.  Made in His likeness and created for His good purpose.

Psalm 8:5 tells us that, “Yet You made them (humans) only a little lower than God and crowned them with glory and honor.”

And then in Revelation 4:8 it says, “… For You created all things, and they exist because you created what you pleased.”

And yet so often we forget these simple truths.

We forget it for the one who cuts us off in traffic.  That one was made in the image of God and for His good purpose.
We forget it for the one who doesn’t treat us as we feel we “deserve”.  That one was made in the image of God and for His good purpose.
We forget it for the unrelenting co-worker who is so hard to get along with.  That one was made in the image of God and for His good purpose.
We forget it for the criminal who’s life of crime has brought about pain and heartache to many.  Yes, too, even that one was made in the image of God and for His good purpose.

Sometimes we forget.

Sometimes we forget that we too have been the one who has cut off a stranger, treated others unfairly, has been hard to get along with, has brought about pain and heartache to people.

But God looks at us through the sacrifice made by His Son, Jesus, and it is through that sacrifice alone that we are made worthy and valuable and blameless… yes that too.. in His eyes.

And so I wonder, how many times have I passed Him by and didn’t even know it?
How many times have I stared into the eyes of Jesus - perfection made flesh - and didn’t realize it?
How many times have I treated Him with contempt because of my irritability with one of His very own?
How many times have I rejected Him because I rejected the one made in His image?

Oh Jesus… I’m sorry. 

I didn’t know it was You.

May today be the turning point that we look into the faces of those around us… really look, deeply… and see the face of Christ.

It just might change how we interact with the One who’s image they bear.

Wonder and Wander

I am a lover of words.

And it is no doubt that when I saw these two words together I couldn’t help but think of what sort of correlation they had with one another… if any.

Wonder and Wander.

By definition the word Wonder means = to be filled with admiration, amazement, or awe; marvel; to be curious to know.
The word Wander, according to the dictionary, means = to ramble without a definite purpose or objective; roam, rove, or stray; to go aimlessly, indirectly, or casually; meander; to stray from a path, place, companions.

Wonder and Wander.  Different by one little letter nestled neatly there in both words.

And yet I am curious….

Psalm 86:10 says, “For you are great and perform deeds of wonder.  You alone are God.”

Psalm 98:1 says, “Sing a new song to the Lord, for He has done wonderful deeds.”

And then there’s Joshua 3:5 that says, “Purify yourselves, for tomorrow the Lord will do great wonders among you.”  Ahh… to have Joshua faith!!

Oh and it’s the heart’s natural habit to wander.  Psalm 119:10 says, “I have tried hard to find you - don’t let me wander from your commands.”

And what about those Israelites who wandered in the desert for 40 years.  Had they allowed themselves to grow cold to all they witnessed God do?

Cold to their own WONDER of who He was?

And so maybe that’s it!

We WANDER off from our deep communion with Him only when we fail to remain in WONDER of all He has done.

Oh He has been so much kinder than He’s ever needed to be!
OH he has done more for us than we deserve!

If we would just stay in wonder of the miracle of grace, we would not be prone to wander from His presence.

We Exist For Them

I witnessed a sad communication exchange the other day between two people. They were discussing a discouraging event that had taken place. One was sharing their frustration over the way they were being “unfairly treated” by a company, and the other was sharing their negative experience with the same company, and the overall general disgust for organizations who fail to meet their expectations.

And then I saw an image that read, “Let there be peace on earth, and let it start with me.”

Peace on earth.

And we might be thinking more about that this time of year.

But I wonder how this might be bringing more peace to the earth?

While we might be tempted to believe that the world exists to cater to us… to our needs, our comfort… our well being, our enjoyment… our pleasure… I think we have it backwards.

Didn’t Jesus… the King of the world… come to serve and not be served? Wasn’t it in His sacrifice of humility that He saved an entire universe? In the midst of the harshest and cruelest rejection a person could ever face, we never hear of Him once speaking of unfair and unjust treatment. He had the mindset that we should aim to have… “They don't exist for me, I exist for them.”

And just maybe by our humble response in the midst of improper treatment, we could change everything.

The world doesn’t change until we do.

Lord, help me to get this right!

During the last event I spoke at I told a story of a man who was losing his young wife to cancer.  In the days leading up to her death, he recited a simple prayer.  He prayed, “Lord, help me to get this right.”

You see, as a young man himself, and as a newly appointed youth pastor at his church, he understood deeply, that he had a choice in the midst of his most challenging circumstance yet.  And that was how he behaved in the most difficult of days.  Knowing that others would be watching him and desperately searching for a pattern of conduct to emulate, he intensely looked to the Lord for guidance as if to say, “Help me to represent You well.”

I cannot tell you the number of times I have thought about this man and his bravery to pray a hard prayer.  Because as a believer of Jesus, my chief concern is proper representation of my faith and my God.  And I find myself relying on His strength more and more….

When I am frustrated at the driver who cut me off… Lord, help me to get this right.
When I harbor resentment towards someone who has hurt me… Lord, help me to get this right.
When I didn’t get my way… Lord, help me to get this right.
When they hurt my child… Lord, help me to get this right.
When I am wrongfully accused… Lord, help me to get this right.

Every day we have a choice.

And the truth is that we have NO strength of our own.  That’s why we need Him.

The bible tells us that we grieve the Holy Spirit when we behave in a way that is contradicting to the character of the God we serve.  There is no place for anger.  There is no place for entitlement.  There is no place for revenge.

And so we can save ourselves a world of pain by applying this simple thought process to our own lives: Lord, help me to get this right.

Often times we get one shot!

Brokenness is Beautiful!

Some mornings are just hard, aren’t they?

Just… hard.

In Ephesians 6:20, Paul was writing from prison and he asks this, "... pray that I will keep on speaking boldly for Him as I should."

One of the reasons I love this verse is because of the boldness in which he asks. Paul sets the example, and gives us permission to pray bold prayers.

The same God who placed the calling on Paul's life to preach the gospel, is the same God who allowed Him to endure as a shackled inmate bound behind bars. But Paul's prayer here reminds us that we can ask God with boldness to use us DESPITE our disadvantage.

... Because some mornings are hard and you feel weak and you know you don’t have what it takes...

God had already placed inside of Paul just like He places inside of us the qualifications required to fulfill our calling regardless of our physical limitations. God is not affected by our inadequacies.
What we see as a limitation - God sees as an invitation to pour out His spirit on us. It's only when we come weak at His feet that He can really do His work in us.

We see chains - God sees chance.
We see obstruction - God sees opportunity.
We see barriers - God sees benefit.
We see pain - God sees plan.

He WILL use us in or brokenness. And it will be beautiful!

Grace

Grace.
Have you got it?
Then you ought to give it.

Grace given when they don’t measure up.
Grace given when they make a mistake.
Grace given when they don't fit into the mold you want them to.
Grace given is the only way Jesus is seen in a dark and hurting world.
Grace loves the sinner.
Grace reminds the weak that there is another way.
Grace given ought to be grace doubled.

Greateful

As I was reading Psalm 50 this morning, I came across verse 14 that says we are to make thankfulness our sacrifice to God.

Ahh… yeah… sacrifice. There’s that word that’s so hard for us all. Me too.

And I started to wonder… about a sacrifice of thankfulness.

And sometimes it is, really, a sacrifice to praise and to thank God, isn’t it?

And then I wrote down this one question… “Are we living with a heart deeply affected by God’s mercies?”

Because all of this… breath in my lungs, food on my plate, medicine for pain, technology at my fingertips, safety to my destination, money in my wallet, running water in my home, a soft bed to lay my head on, good friends to rely on… all of these are mercies… great mercies… I’ve never deserved, but always depended on.

And I think about a few years ago when we lost power in our home for several days. Prior to the storm it was so simple to demonstrate my gratitude for electricity… for heat… for well-working appliances. But when we lost it all… it became more sacrificial to remain grateful in the mess. And just like God was inviting me in to further, deeper relationship with Him, I was provided the opportunity to stretch my faith by shifting my thankfulness to the family that selflessly opened up their home to us for 2 days while our power was restored.

An alternate route to the same destination.

Gratitude. Thankfulness.

Because being grateful when things are good is responsive. I am appropriately responding to God for His favor. Ahh… but remaining grateful when things are hard is authentically resigning my will and trading it in for His. It is surrender to a God who has already given FAR MORE than I ever deserve.

Conviction AND Conversion

Last week was a busy week.
And in the heart of the hectic-ness, I decided that it was time our bedroom closet got cleaned out. From top to bottom.
Yeah… yay, me.
So, on a cold, rainy Tuesday morning, I tackled the beast with full gusto.
For almost 3 hours, I cleaned, organized, washed, and reconfigured the space to my liking and proudly stood back to admire my accomplishment.
And I felt satisfied.
Until about 4 p.m. that same afternoon.
I was sitting at my office desk, that is positioned directly opposite of my bedroom closet wall, when out of nowhere came this horrifying sound. A crash… a bang… that lasted way longer than it should have.
Tiptoeing in the room with my daughter to assess the issue led to panic when I witnessed the ENTIRE top shelving unit had came detached from the wall and was laying in disarray all over the closet floor, spilling onto the bedroom carpet.
Shoe boxes, blankets, bags, purses, and yes… even that gigantic box of treasured greeting cards saved for nearing 20 years of marriage… all toppled over and now canvasing my only recently pristine bedroom.
Hands to head. “What on EARTH am I going to do now?”
It was all I could say for about 20 minutes.
Refocusing on dinner, I decided to relay the news gently to my husband. Because the last thing I knew he wanted to have to attend to after a hard day at work was… this!
And when he saw it? There was not panic. There was not fear. There was not anger.
Disappointment, yes, but not loud words of frustration.
Just one simple question… “Wanna go to Lowe’s with me?”
And what you need to know about our behavior was that it was not always this way.
There was a time when this sort of inconvenience… this sort of set-back… this sort of derailment would have uncovered some very ugly reactions. In both of us.
But you know what my first thought was when it happened and my daughter was present?
My first thought was, “How am I going to behave in this mess?”
Because I had an observer.
And in the same week she had been a witness to me praying, and reading scripture, and serving our community. And the same mouth that proclaimed His goodness, HAD to be the same mouth that reserved the right of anger and denied it anyway.
Because after all - the problem isn’t that what we are saying is wrong. I was upset. I was tired. I was overwhelmed. But the problem is in how we are behaving. It’s what I choose to DO with the irritation that can be the most damaging of all.
It’s no surprise, really, and so like our God when He speaks, that I would write in my journal only days prior to this incident: “You cannot have conviction without conversion. If you’re going anywhere with God, one must accompany the other. Christians must stop compromising their influence and God’s reputation by insisting on remaining unconverted… just like the world.”
So - we have a choice.
Today.
Everyday.
I know it’s a closet. And in the great big scheme of things, seems irrelevant to the greater aspects of Christian living and personal growth, but I believe EVERYTHING matters. And lessons can be found… even in closet reorganization!